Now I don’t disbelieve anything I was told but it did bring me to think about all the useless facts that  we come across as we get a bit older. I found a nice crop of them on the Million Impossible forum, it seems to be an ever growing subject and you never know some of them may even be new to you!

Now I used to like the show, Mikey is funny, the friction between Pauley and his Father can be entertaining, Vinny is a calming influence that adds balance as is Rick. I say I used to like it, and I suppose I still do, but I sort of got turned off when they visited good old Blighty.

Now skilled they may be but they entered our shores (I say our shores but they went to Scotland too – I’m English) and turned into stereotypical brash, ignorant and arrogant Americans.

Now, as I said I just watched an episode of American Chopper where they had built a bike for Billy Joel who is a bike fan and not just an “Innocent Man”. They presented the bike to the “Downtown Man” in front of a massive crowd of (Styereotypically) whooping and cheering Americans.

They always do it, don’t they? “Good Job – Whoooo-oooo”, Good Job my Arse! I think they would have whooped and whistled and cheered and screamed if Paul had taken a dump on that stage.

“Hey buddy, look at that big steaming turd – Whoooo-Whoooo-Whoooo – Good Job.”

Big Job more like!

Why do they get so excited over such trivial stuff? Surely in the land of the free there’s better things to get excited over?

I’d love to know why.

Can you imagine how excited George Washington would have been if his dentures weren’t wooden? Maybe the famous traitor Paul Revere wouldn’t have been so proud to turn his back on King George if he had seen an episode of WWF or WWE or what ever they’re calling it now.

Please stop whooping before it catches on for real over here. get excited over exciting things and leave the knicker wetting to frightened old ladies and infants.

Thank you for your understanding in this matter.

Much Love – Viewage.

I would let someone get away with “Can I Have?”, although “May I have?” is far more suited. Droves of people seem to be using the American (and quite frankly rude) version of requesting something. I work behind a bar occasionally and when faced with “Can I Get?” I reply “Sorry you can’t, I have to get it because it’s my job” only to be faced with blank stares and little understanding.

Now I say “Our” language as it is English, although you would feel like Canute if you tried to stem the flood of Americanisms breaking into the English spoken language, and there is a distinction between the two. We have pavements and lifts, they have sidewalks and elevators blahdey, blahdey, blah.

Tamarto, Tomayto I hear you say and I agree because I can understand why Americans would want to put their own stamp on a language that was thrust upon them by a vote shortly after independence – And let’s face it, it must have been hard to use the language of your recent enemies – My understanding is it narrowly beat German, if that had happened the world could be a very different place today!

My problem lies with why an Englishman would want to sound like an American. The guiltiest are the young obviously, who think it’s cool to say “Can I Get?” rather than “May I Have?” and they miss a rather pertinent point!

Think “Cool” and what do you get? American brashness and Gun Ho attitude or English finesse and subtlety?

When I want my own way I would rather be James Bond or David Niven than Frank Sinatra or Elvis Presley.

So come on people, choose the phrases that suit rather than add to the groundswell of American soundbites. English isn’t a closed shop but we should make it a rule that “One should wear a tie to get into the club, old boy”.

He won’t read this but I don’t care – Well Mr202 if you have a problem, firstly get your facts straight, secondly get a life and thirdly go forth and multiply.

I know it’s cryptic but honestly people, if someone upsets you why not have a quiet word rather than go to the powers that be!

While we’re talking about pettiness, I don’t think I can take any more 80s music so i’m off to change it.

Must Go

What I mean is we can all talk freely about our successes but get on the defensive when talking about our failures and it’s only human nature I suppose. The trouble is that if we only talk about our successes, then how can we get advice or help in our hour of need? Let’s face it no-one can help you if they don’t know you need help.

Now I’m the world’s worst for it, I’ll let it all bottle up and let it fester even though I know I shouldn’t and what makes it worse is I know a little advice from a third party can be enlightening at times. I should take a bit of my own advice I suppose.

So let’s make a deal…. If I promise to make the effort, then you should too – Any ideas where the best place to find our new shoulders to lean on?

The question I asked myself is “If you’re in business do you retreat into your shell or promote yourself as much as possible”?

I was told that the companies that took a more proactive approach in previous recessions were the ones to survive and even prosper. So there you have it, promote yourself as much as possible but do it within your budget.

I’ve found a couple of web sites that offer free ways to promote yourself. For traditional advertising www.businesssourcer.com offers a full page online advert for the initial year entirely free. The adverts contain plenty of opportunity to get your message across with full contact details and company profile, along with web and e-mail link. Take a look, you can even upload your own advert details.

The second one I found is www.millionimpossible.com, this is a networking site that offers free membership. The free membership doesn’t give full access but does give you the chance to put your profile online and post in their forums. I know networking isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but luck favours the brave as they say!

What have you got to lose? A couple of freebies that are a little more substancial than most offerings I’ve found.

I’ll post something later when I can be bothered – Ha Ha

The dress sense all seems a bit off. They have clumped around in white welly boots, white coats, shirts and ties whilst selling fish on a market only to turn up to a board meeting with Sir Alan (In the case of Alex) looking like he’d slept in his suit, lost his hairbrush and neglected to shave!

Now maybe it is his “Look” but presumably he didn’t want the sack and I wouldn’t want to face Sir Alan looking like that – I doubt if it endeared him at all!

This week was great, the girls wanted to do the laundry for a hotel at a cut price £4.99 an item. YES £4.99. I suppose they could do it for that seeing it was a bulk order of one thousand pieces, a cut price Five Grand – were they serious? The hotel manager’s face was a picture!

Pricing seems to be a problem with the Boys selling whole lobsters for a fiver the week before.

It all went wrong from there for the “Girls” and degenerated into the “Project Manager” – Jenny (you can tell the Project Manager as they keep telling the group that they are) – reducing poor old Lucinda to tears. I think it’s great that Jenny managed to pull everyone together.

Both Alex and Jenny have managed to get their scapegoats fired, so they can’t be doing everything wrong. I suppose all the candidates will find their feet as the series goes on and there are fewer contestants to argue with.

I love to see these management types putting their spin on more traditional industries.

Episode 1 – The boys got fleeced by a firm of solicitors when they tried to sell them fish. As Carly Chynoweth mentioned in the TimesOnline – Why try to sell fish to sharks? They drove a hard bargain and fleeced the boys.

Episode 2 – The girls offering a 24hr hotline along with personal account managers so that you can track your overnight laundry. I would have had to call them at 4 am just to check it out!

Does anyone agree that Kevin Shaw looks uncannily like Matt Lucas? I think he’s great – funny as you like!

I’m really looking forward to next week, it’s car crash TV at its best.

Are blogs only for the famous, interesting or well respected? Well obviously not.

I’m not famous or well respected but I’ll try to find something interesting to talk about next time.

Viewage